Post by 033vicm08 on Aug 17, 2023 10:03:20 GMT
I'm 28 female. I was raised in evangelical house. I was a virgin until i was 26. I lost my virginity to a married man that was tryng to woo me. He did not know i was a virgin. I had sex with and a old friend from school that we reconnected but just once. It was also his first time too.
I had had clinical depression for 7 years of my life. Losing the belief in god was devastating. I was suicidal for a long time. I lost all y friends (execpt one) and i nearly lost my sanity. From 18 to 26.
I met my current boyfriend at work. He is 37 years old (9 years older than me). He grew up in a normal family and therefore had normal sexual development. He told me that he struggled with having girlfriends that one of them cheated on him when he was younger (mid 20's) and that really traumatised him. He later said that had some people that he "got to know" but that he "wasted his time with them". He had also told me that he has been single for a long time. He has struggle for 20 years to get a stable relationship.
Since he is 9 years older than me and i had had very little experience with sex or love he has had more sexual relationship than me. And that is the problem. I estimate he has slept with 10 to 20 people. He told me he was single for a long time and that he did not like it. And he has not been a playboy. He told me he had always wanted a stable relationship and he has criticised people who sleep around.
He has been my first relationship. Obviously not his first one but his most significant one. He told me that "he has never felt like this for anyone before" that i was his "soulmate" that "i see you as the mother of my children" "I want to buy a house with you" etc.
I dont think this is because it is my first relationship but i do really love him. We have a very deep conexion and he is a wonderful man that treats me very well. He has a good job and is very good looking we have great chemistry and we want the same things in life. Very wise and inteligent. I have a fantastic relationship with him and he is in love with me.
I think he has slept between 10 and 20 people doing numbers. He is 37 and lets say he started having sex at 18. More or less. He always wanted to be in committed relationships. And at the same time i cant blame him. It is normal to want to have sexual release and to be loved and love other people. He is a very kind man. And i know that the number of people you slept with is not an i dication of anything. It is basically biology and that he is older than me and what he going to do? Stay single until 36? (that we started going out together)
However with my upbrinning is difficult to accept. I need honest opinions of how to deal with it.
I am starting therapy soon.
I have considered having sexual affairs and not emotional ones. Cos i do love him. However i know that this couod hurt him if he found out.
I am 28 and i want to start a family i am not going to find a more fantastic man and father for my children. And also between now and 30 i am not going to find another oen that has no past. I live in a liberal area. And nor they should suffer ehat i suffered.
However i have to be able to deal with this in a healthy way without him knowning.
I dont wanna leave him and i do love him a lot and i know that he loves me and told me he wanted to be with me for all his life.
Before (some months that is, it never crossed my mind. He told me "he love you more than any other girl and by a big difference" and i was elated by that. I didnt even think abiut him having sex with other women. I dont know cos i was naive or that i was the first in his heart. He told me about the i infidelity and i felt sorry for him) however I think all of this came up by the fact that i am moving out of my parents house and i asked him if we could move in together. And he said no.
He said that he loved me that he wanted to live with me and have children with me but that it was too soon that it could reck the relationship. I was very evry hurt by that and was the whole month angry at him and have fights with him the first time.
I felt like a piece of shitt and rejected by him.
I think that all of this doubt and jelousy and anger were triggered because of that and that i was naive.
However i do not think that i am naive to think that he loves me more than the others and that he does reslly want to have children with me and live with me and have a life together. I am 100% positive that he is 100% honest.
To be honest i hate my life i hate my family for making me like this. For the indoctriniation and the hurt it caused me.
However i love him and he is the best thing that happened to me. I am not going to give him up.
Please i want advice. I want 100% honest opinions and you to be truthful. Or if anyone has lived through something similar.
Thanks.
I had had clinical depression for 7 years of my life. Losing the belief in god was devastating. I was suicidal for a long time. I lost all y friends (execpt one) and i nearly lost my sanity. From 18 to 26.
I met my current boyfriend at work. He is 37 years old (9 years older than me). He grew up in a normal family and therefore had normal sexual development. He told me that he struggled with having girlfriends that one of them cheated on him when he was younger (mid 20's) and that really traumatised him. He later said that had some people that he "got to know" but that he "wasted his time with them". He had also told me that he has been single for a long time. He has struggle for 20 years to get a stable relationship.
Since he is 9 years older than me and i had had very little experience with sex or love he has had more sexual relationship than me. And that is the problem. I estimate he has slept with 10 to 20 people. He told me he was single for a long time and that he did not like it. And he has not been a playboy. He told me he had always wanted a stable relationship and he has criticised people who sleep around.
He has been my first relationship. Obviously not his first one but his most significant one. He told me that "he has never felt like this for anyone before" that i was his "soulmate" that "i see you as the mother of my children" "I want to buy a house with you" etc.
I dont think this is because it is my first relationship but i do really love him. We have a very deep conexion and he is a wonderful man that treats me very well. He has a good job and is very good looking we have great chemistry and we want the same things in life. Very wise and inteligent. I have a fantastic relationship with him and he is in love with me.
I think he has slept between 10 and 20 people doing numbers. He is 37 and lets say he started having sex at 18. More or less. He always wanted to be in committed relationships. And at the same time i cant blame him. It is normal to want to have sexual release and to be loved and love other people. He is a very kind man. And i know that the number of people you slept with is not an i dication of anything. It is basically biology and that he is older than me and what he going to do? Stay single until 36? (that we started going out together)
However with my upbrinning is difficult to accept. I need honest opinions of how to deal with it.
I am starting therapy soon.
I have considered having sexual affairs and not emotional ones. Cos i do love him. However i know that this couod hurt him if he found out.
I am 28 and i want to start a family i am not going to find a more fantastic man and father for my children. And also between now and 30 i am not going to find another oen that has no past. I live in a liberal area. And nor they should suffer ehat i suffered.
However i have to be able to deal with this in a healthy way without him knowning.
I dont wanna leave him and i do love him a lot and i know that he loves me and told me he wanted to be with me for all his life.
Before (some months that is, it never crossed my mind. He told me "he love you more than any other girl and by a big difference" and i was elated by that. I didnt even think abiut him having sex with other women. I dont know cos i was naive or that i was the first in his heart. He told me about the i infidelity and i felt sorry for him) however I think all of this came up by the fact that i am moving out of my parents house and i asked him if we could move in together. And he said no.
He said that he loved me that he wanted to live with me and have children with me but that it was too soon that it could reck the relationship. I was very evry hurt by that and was the whole month angry at him and have fights with him the first time.
I felt like a piece of shitt and rejected by him.
I think that all of this doubt and jelousy and anger were triggered because of that and that i was naive.
However i do not think that i am naive to think that he loves me more than the others and that he does reslly want to have children with me and live with me and have a life together. I am 100% positive that he is 100% honest.
To be honest i hate my life i hate my family for making me like this. For the indoctriniation and the hurt it caused me.
However i love him and he is the best thing that happened to me. I am not going to give him up.
Please i want advice. I want 100% honest opinions and you to be truthful. Or if anyone has lived through something similar.
Thanks.